“I broke up with my girlfriend and everything spiraled out of control!” or “I started drinking, got a DWI and then lost my job!” Or “I tried a drug, then wanted more. Then Got more, and now I can stop!”
In our lives, we all have people and things that we value deeply—sometimes even link to our survival. We operate in our minds based upon inner beliefs and perceptions. As we move through life, we project either upward or downward, depending on these inner beliefs.
But more powerful than belief alone are the actions we take—either for or against ourselves.
Believe it or not, it’s not the world that crashes down on a man when his life falls apart—it’s often his own actions that do him in.
The way our hearts work is through inner expectations—which are, in essence, inner agreements. These could relate to how we manage our diet, fitness, finances, relationships, career, or any other area of life where we hold responsibility. We form personal agreements with ourselves about how we want to show up in these areas.
For example, we might hold ourselves to going to the gym three times per week, keeping the car clean, maintaining a tidy house, or showing up to work early. When we violate those agreements, we feel it. It doesn’t just feel “off”—it often feels like guilt or deep self-disappointment. We know we should be doing better… and we’re not.
I like to think about these patterns through what I call “The 3 Strikes Rule.”
If a person makes three major strikes against themselves, they’ve effectively broken their momentum—and their spirit—until they take action to repair the damage.
Here’s an example:
Take a man in his late 30s, married with two kids, living a good life in a quiet neighborhood. One night, while out with co-workers, he makes a poor decision and follows the group to a strip club. If he holds a self-agreement or a relational agreement not to engage in that behavior, he may feel guilty—and start hiding it from his wife.
At first, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. But guilt eats away. In an effort to cope, he begins drinking more. Then, smoking. Before long, he’s drinking on the job. He loses his job. His marriage begins to fall apart. And now, he doesn’t understand how everything spiraled so far out of control.
This is the classic downward spiral.
On the other hand, there’s the upward spiral.
Let’s say that same man, when invited, responds: “No thanks—I don’t do that.”
The next morning, his boss calls him into the office. He braces himself. But instead, the boss says he’s aware of the group’s behavior the night before—and is glad this man wasn’t part of it. Impressed with his integrity, the boss promotes him.
The man walks out of the office proud—knowing he acted in alignment with his values.
When your actions align with your deepest truth, they become incredibly powerful.
Every aligned choice grounds you further in your purpose, your peace, and your identity.
Each time you say “no” to what doesn’t serve you, you build power.
I’ll never forget the words of my business partner, Joe Sanhanga, who shared with me a lesson from one of his billionaire mentors:
“The difference between a millionaire and a billionaire is that a millionaire said no to 100 options.
The billionaire said no to 1,000.”
Every “yes” or “no” spoken from your deepest heart leads you closer to your divine path—toward brighter and brighter days.
At MultiGen Wellness, we offer Mindset and Life Coaching, as well as courses and books designed to help you reclaim your inner alignment and step into your highest potential.
By: Joshua G. Crampton, Founder MultiGen