“I feel like there is something important I’m supposed to be doing!”
This morning, I was having my coffee and enjoying a slow Saturday, still in my robe and lounging around. I was looking forward to an easy day of writing on my laptop, spending time in my library and office.
I enjoy working from home—writing, reading all my old books. It brings me peace. Writing feels like my home language. I’m one of those rare people who relaxes by reading a book.
But this morning, I felt what I call Divine Confliction—a little anger, followed by a bit of relief. And I know some of you may be feeling these same things in your own life as you try to tune into your purpose.
I lived the first half of my life with no real purpose—just the simple intention to get rich. The second half, I’ve spent finding my heart and tuning in to what I love most. Choosing one life pursuit over another is one of the deepest maturing moments of a young soul.
I never really knew what I wanted to do until I stumbled into it. That’s often how life leads us—by stumbling. They say most people will change careers four or five times before retirement. I’ve known mentors who spent half their life as engineers and the other half as lawyers.
I have one mentor who lived as a psychologist, later ran her own business, and eventually went on to teach in colleges and institutions. Your path will guide you to newer expressions of yourself and help you uncover your innate gifts.
“The young man says YES to everything. The wise man says YES to very little. Hence, the wisdom of experience.”
When I first started MultiGen and began scaling each part of it, I was driven by more than just my deepest heart. My heart was present—but I was also driven by something deeper that couldn’t be fully named.
We said “no” to many business opportunities. But we also said “yes” to far too many pursuits and startups that we shouldn’t have.
You’ll find what you truly care about most when you are driven to the brink of dismay, and have to pull from deep within yourself just to keep going. When your pursuits have exhausted your life force—those are the moments when only your deepest heart will survive the pressure.
Think about when you’ve had a stressful week, haven’t slept well, and life is coming at you from every angle. In those moments, your attention span for things you don’t value disappears. Your energy becomes sacred. You cut out what drains you.
That’s exactly what happened to me at certain points with MultiGen. I simply didn’t have the energy anymore—for startups, side projects, or people who weren’t aligned with my deepest longing.
And what I wanted to do—every day—was write.
Once that became clear, it became much easier to choose where I put my energy each week. My goal became simple: build financial security through MultiGen so I could work from home and write every day of my life.
This morning, when I said I felt frustrated—it was because someone from Majestic Lighting Design in Boerne, TX called for a new quote. I don’t even have a designer in that city anymore, and I’m still running some parts of the business. It frustrates me, because I want nothing to do with “Majestic Lighting Design”—a company I once poured my heart into in my early 20s.
I hope that in your own life, you reach a place where the things you most want to do become crystal clear. I pray that you find the work you were meant for—the expression of your deepest truth. Parts of this post were inspired by the book “Mental Constructs” by Joshua G. Crampton. Click Here To Buy!
There’s a quote I used to reflect on often:
“The desires in you for more—the desire to grow, to earn more money, to have nicer things, a healthy body, a successful family and career, to become more—that is God inside you, wanting to be fully expressed.”
May each day of your journey be filled with guidance… and little clues that you are being watched over.
With heart,
Joshua G. Crampton
Founder, MultiGen